Step 1: Focus on yourself
Step 2: Get a life which functions without him
Step 3:
Case 1A: He comes back, and you’re ready to forgive him- Make him a PART of your newly made life
Case 1B: He comes back, and you’re not ready to forgive him- I don’t need to explain this
Case 2: He isn’t coming back- You have a functioning life without him… LIVE IT.
Story time!
So I just went through a horrible breakup with… Nope, not a boyfriend… my best friend, but he certainly drove me very crazy (not in love, in anger)
We’ve been best friends for two years and he has always been my teammate in several competitions.
We bought lunch together, studied in the library together, went for competitions together, and when I’d be alone at home, I’d sometimes get online through virtual meetings with him and learn something.
It was amazing, and I actually felt like this friendship wasn’t just honest and supportive, it was also making me grow.
What could go wrong? I was studying, having someone to rant to, had a personal bodyguard, and he was just perfect!
All of a sudden one day, he said: “I think you’re using me for the learning- You actually don’t give a #$&- about me”
WHATTTTT??? NO WAY!!!
He dropped it on me like a bomb! That was definitely NOT what I was doing? I mean- I can be a little clumsy at times and mess up certain things, but I definitely had a thing to manage stuff without him, right? I could do stuff without him, and not just that… I LOVED HIM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART (as friends… otherwise it’s ew)
I was NOT using him.
And all of a sudden my entire group of friends (all guys) started treating me like his ex girlfriend (even though I was never his girlfriend in the first place) and I was left alone.
I’ve been living alone for 6 months now, and I never felt any kind of pain or loneliness, but now… For the first time after having entered college, I could feel a pain in my chest that would only grow.
I started feeling like the only reason I wasn’t jumping off the balcony was because I didn’t want my parents to go through that crap… but I felt useless.
I felt more angry at myself than anything else.
“How did I miss this? How didn’t I know that I was making him feel that way?”
I kept blaming myself.
It slowly started getting better when I told my mom the whole story. I first let my mistakes sit in for a day (and let her scream at me so that I could feed the guilt I had) then I told her his mistakes and got her hating on him 😂
It was really funny how my Mom transitioned from “What kind of a daughter have I raised” to “How dare he treat my daughter like that”…
Anyway… I decided to focus on different things… Like arranging my almirah with the new clothes I got, putting on the seashell keychain on my scooty keys:
I plan on finding dance classes near me so that I can get back to my old talent again, and I also bought a writing pad to write down stupid thoughts before I forgot them or started overthinking:
I actually used this to study a bit on the flight so that my thoughts didn’t wander again.
I cried for 10 days straight, and I cry even now. But I try to keep my thoughts in check and keep everything logical just so that I can cope better.
Concluding, I wrote this story as my method of healing… Your method could be different, but what’s important is that you FIND your method.
